I can’t believe I’ve been blogging for four-ish years without ever dedicating a post to my favorite store, Target. This post ain’t sponsored, although, if Target ever wants to holla at me for a sponsorship (winks coquettishly). No, today, I’m just dishing pure love to the place that gets all my dispensable income and some of my light bill money, too.
It all started almost 20 years ago, when I was a wee lass of about 16. I started noticing that I preferred shopping at Target for clothes more than at my mom’s favorite stores, like JC Penney or K-mart or Bealls. When she stopped footing the bill for my clothing habit, I decided to get a job. The first place I looked? Target! Why not work for the place I loved and get a discount? Alas, someone told me I was too young (they lied), and I ended up getting my first job at Publix grocery store instead.
But ever since then, and now, I really only have a job to spend money at Target. That’s my sole reason for joining the workforce and staying in it. I have a 20-year-old habit I don’t intend to quit. I mean, having a roof over my head is cool and all. But what good is that roof, really, if I can’t put prettyful things from Target under it?
No good at all, Dara.
Exactly. So what’s the problem, then, if I love Target and Target obviously loves me back? Target sends me on a roller coaster ride of determination, elation, dismay, shock, and acceptance every time I set foot in the store. It starts with the smell of Starbucks tickling my nose, getting me amped. My mouth waters. I always think I’m going to win, and then…I get to the checkout line.
Stage 1: DENIAL/DETERMINATION
Me: “I’m just going to go for this one thing…”
I always have a set amount of things I need to get when I say, “I gotta stop at Target.” I can write a list down on my phone, mumble a mantra when I walk through the sliding doors (milk, Dara, milk milk, milk), or make a beeline for the right department. It doesn’t matter, though. Target always makes a liar out of me every single time.
Stage 2: GIDDINESS
Me: Oh em gee, this is soooo cuuuuuute/cheap! I gotta have it!
One of the reasons I fracking love Target so much is because they usually have an abundance of clothes in my size, XS. I rarely have an issue finding cute, well-fitting items there. When I went to Target last Saturday to buy Bean a family photo dress, I snuck off to the women’s clearance rack and found a cute top for $3.60. YA’LL. THREE. DOLLARS. AND SIX DIMES.
Yeah, you may laugh, ’cause you did not do your math. And right next to it was a cozy, long cardigan, too, which I’ve been wanting. I think I did a dance. And I put that isht in the basket.
Stage 3: DISMAY
Me: [1 hour later] I can’t believe I’m still in here shopping…
It never fails. Not only do I end up putting things in the basket I didn’t come for, but my in-and-out trips wind up taking forever. I can spend a smooth 90 minutes in Target vacillating between the brown cardigan or the white one, NYX’s Kitten Heels or Cherry Skies, My Little Pony or Doc McStuffins birthday gifts. Which one, which one?! I’m so indecisive. I always look down at my phone shocked at how much time has gone by. You can’t send me on a “quick run” to Target. There’s no such thing. I’m in that piece for an hour, at least, without buying a single thing. And everything in the basket is NOT what I came for.
Stage 4: SHOCK
Me: Three things cost $100?! I only came in here to spend $25!
After I glance, dismayed, at what time it is, I hastily make a decision and haul tail to the cash register. If I’m lucky, the lines will be long and there will only be like two cashiers. I like to use this time to play eeny meeny miny moe with items I’m on the fence about buying. Yes, I’m that chick who leaves the random lipstick in the gum at checkout. I sowwy. But when I finally make it to the conveyor belt, I hold my breath. A few beeps and swipes and–this costs how much?!?! I never, ever go into Target and spend less than the amount I planned to. And I’m never not shocked at how quickly a few things add up. Even if I grab the cheapest of an item, everything still costs more than I guesstimated.
Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE
Me: Well, I guess it didn’t cost that much. And it is cute. Just this once.
I slink out of the store realizing that Target has snowed me once again. But mingled with that shame is acceptance, because I don’t remember the last time I took something back there. LOL! You would think I’d put some or all of the offending items back, right? NOPE. I still want them. I’ve been doing this dance since adolescence. Me and Target go together. I’ve accepted it.
Apparently, Maryland expects a foot of snow this week, so I won’t be going to Target again anytime soon. Thank GAWD. I tried on my new long-sleeved shirt and oversized cardigan at home today. I really shouldn’t have bought. I’m so ashamed. And warm. And ashamed. But warm!
Do you love Target as much as I do? Which store always has you spending more money than you anticipated?