Good people of the Internet, it is officially my birthday! This is the day that the Lord hath made; I will rejoice and TURN UP! in it. I’m so blessed to be here.
On this day, 32 years ago, my mama gave birth to a 3-lb, 11 oz brown dumpling of a baby girl. I came out full-term but I wasn’t fully baked. Doctors stuck me underneath an incubator for a few more days, and I have never quite given up my predilection for warmth and sunlight since. Because I’m so small, I celebrate my birthdays loudly…you will deal.
Like most humans I regard my birthday as a miniature holiday in my world. You, by virtue of reading this post, are a part of it. So I figured that it would be impolite not to celebrate this glorious day with a couple hundred of my Internet friends. You can’t all be with me today (I know it’s killing you) but I do have a few things you can do to help me turn up on my birthday.
1.Take the day off work. This is the number one present I give myself every year, without fail: a vacation day from my 9-5 to frolic around the city. As your birthday queen, I grant you this day off as well.
2. Listen to some Beyonce. Specifically, “Get Me Bodied.” It’s my favorite Beyonce song.
3. Go to Starbucks and get a Tall Vanilla Chai Latte. I’m in love with all things chai. Every year on my birthday, I stop by your neighborhood coffee shop and I buy myself the frothiest, sweetest, spiciest chai beverage available and then I drown in it.
4. Repeat after me: “Just wakin’ up in the morning, gotta thank God / I don’t know, but today seems kinda odd!” Because today was indeed A Good Day.
5. Go see Dear White People! One of my birthday plans includes going to the matinee to see the movie in the theater, which I never get to do, because toddler mommy.
6. Take a long, indulgent nap. I think there’s no better way to celebrate life to than to laze in bed like you have nowhere to be.
7. Eat a ridiculous amount of Talenti gelato. Look, I swear by Ben and Jerry’s because I love ice cream, but Talenti’s is the m$#&@$% truth. I’ve heard the salted caramel is wicked.
8. Get a mani-pedi. I feel so pampered with a pretty color on my nails. We can be fancy together!
9. Eat a brownie, eat some German chocolate cake, eat a cheesecake, eat a Publix buttercream cake, and make sure it has whipped cream on top. DO IT.
10. Two words: Birthday. Sex.
11. If your favorite song comes on the radio in the car…hop out the car at a red light and dance like you know everyone is watching you. I’ve always wanted to do that!
12. Go shopping! Every fall I allow Target and DSW to stick me for my paper. It’s sweater and boot season and I shall prosper!
13. Stop by your favorite quaint local bookstore. What are you picking up? Americanah, Half of a Yellow Sun, 32 Candles, Shake Down the Stars, and Bad Feminist.
14. Catch up on your Netflix binge watching. I need to finish up New Girl, start on Gilmore Girls, and check out Silver Linings Playbook
15. Have fabulous hair. I’ll tell you a little-known secret about me: if my hair looks fly, you really can’t tell me nothing that day.
16. Let it all (or almost all) hang out! I love sweaters and boots but pants are so overrated. At least once today, the cool fall air should hit your naked backside. What’s a birthday without a birthday suit??
17. Let there be twerking! In the spirit of Rihanna, I decree that someone twerk or receive twerking for this occasion.
18. Tweet me happy birthday! I promise to tweet back and shower you with gratitude and twerk gifs.
19. Tell someone you love them. Part of the reason I love my birthday is that I have people who love me enough to celebrate with me. They make every year great and I love them for it.
20. Get you some fried plantains. Living in GA means these are not easy to come by like they are in FL. Get your life together and eat some plantains for me. Sooo good.
21. Wear new clothes. I don’t know about you, but I feel extra fresh when I’m wearing something brand new. Did you have a birthday ‘fit as a kid like I did?
22. Go vote! Many states across the country have early voting prior to the November 4th election. If you’re registered, get that over with and cast your midterm election votes today!
23. Take a nice, long bubble bath. Pour like the whole bottle of bubble bath in that mug, too, til the foam tickles your nose. Make the water real hot. Then audibly sigh. Yesss.
24. Visit a local poetry open mic. It’s been too long since I’ve heard slam poetry, which is one of my favorite things.
25. Donate to M.O.R.E. to help fund legal aid for arrested protesters in Ferguson, MO. Solidarity with those on the ground. #BlackLivesMatter every day.
26. Do something your everyday life doesn’t allow you to do. For me, that’s writing without distraction or rush.
27. Make plans to be greater in the next year. I love plans! But I think I love executing them even more. So many good things to celebrate in the past year.
28. Have dinner at a fancy restaurant. Get gussied up and go somewhere they don’t allow tennis shoes or shirts without collars. Be sure to put your pinkie in the air.
29. Like the Truly Tafakari Facebook page! Who doesn’t like Likes?
30. Spend some time unplugged from social media with someone who gets you. Nothing beats real face time.
31. Splurge on matching panties and bra sets. Do you know how hard it is to match those things daily?!
32. Introduce yourself…to me! If you’ve never left a comment on Truly Tafakari, today is the perfect day to unlurk yourself and say hi. I can’t think of any better gift from my favorite people on the Internet.
There you have it…32 ways you can help me turn up for my birthday. Even if you only do one of these things, you will have made my birthday a better place for all mankind. 🙂
happy birthday to me.